In this day and age, there's definitely tons of articles out there to read on "how to stop yelling at your kid?"; However, let us share some tips on this topic.
These are tried and true methods that worked for us and we're delighted to share with you!
Keyword : "BIBO"
Also known as "Breathe In, Breathe Out". This method works because all it takes is just a moment to cool down. Imagine you told your kids to pick up their toys and 10 minutes later nothing happens, you feel your blood is about to boil, you're on the verge of losing your cool. That's when you turn around, close your eyes and BREATHE! Take a moment to collect yourself and your emotions. If you're worked up, you're only gonna work up your child, and your child is in the learning process hence they are learning by watching you. So take a deep breathe and think through what you're going to say, calmly.
Mean business (without being a meanie)
Instead of yelling, tone it down to a stern but softer "I mean business" approach, also do tone down your body language and facial reactions too. When you speak in a call and stern voice, your child have to work to listen-and they usually always do! The calmer and softer you speak, the more impact your words will have. Plus, you won't have to lose your voice overtime by yelling at your child.
Addressing the behaviour
Most times yelling may seem easier than addressing the issue at hand. However, by yelling, it doesn't address why your child should behave in that manner. Which is why it's important if the parents address the behaviour and explain patiently why it is inappropriate to behave in such a way.
Discipline your kids
Always remain consistent and calm when disciplining your kids. You are their role model!
Help your child explain feelings
It is normal in every growing child, their emotions can be like a huge playground. It is important for parents to be there to explain to them of their feelings, emotions and how to express themselves in a proper manner. It is even crucial as a parent to also practise what they teach to their child because kids are very good mimickers!
Have clear rules and follow through
There are some rules that has to be set. Part of disciplining your child, teaching them that nap time is at what time or bedtime is at 8pm or pick up the toys before bedtime. This includes TV time or gadget time.
Many parents nowadays rely heavily on gadgets to distract their kids outside and even to keep them entertained at home. However, many are unaware of the dangers on these gadgets that is being imposed on the kids. However, don't yell at them for spending too long on the gadget or TV because it was approved by you in the first place. Empty threats and nagging will not work on kids because they'll figure it out eventually that you're not for real. Set a clear rule and consequences and follow through. It's another way to say you really mean business.
Give praises for Okay behaviours
We've been grown up to learn that there is good and bad. However, kids are just kids. They don't know what's good and what's bad and what's okay or acceptable or neutral. All your kids want is your attention. So it's good to praise them when they've done something good and to patiently explain, discipline and teach them when they've done something bad.
For those okay, acceptable or neutral behaviours, you can also praise them for it or encourage more of it. Because kids love it when you praise them, they will then pick up and tend to repeat it more often. So it's good encouragement. Just remember no one is perfect, it can never be good all the time. Don't yell! Because its also feeding to whatever attention they are seeking for you, so it will not be surprising if they repeat something bad again just to get your reaction of you yell most of the times. It's not that they are stubborn or not listening to you. But it is the only way to get your attention. So time to change strategy!
Strong bond with your child
The stronger your relationship is with your child, the stronger the discipline will hold. Because a strong bond between parent and child, not only strengthen the relationship in-between but also your child will show a much greater respect to you and is more accepting of your discipline methods.
Put yourself in their shoes
If someone yelled at you the way you yell at your kids, would you like it? If no, then why are you doing it to them? Mirror your actions on yourself and if you don't fancy it then don't do it. Because your kid is your mirror. They reflect and deflect at the same time. You would want to teach your kid what is acceptable and not, without making them feel hurt or embarrassed.
No one is perfect
Just remember no one is perfect! At the end of the day, we're still human. We have things to do everyday and people to please. We still have emotions that we may sometimes loose our cool. No matter how hard we try, sometimes we might slip up and yell. And that's okay! As long as we know how to make it right. Just remember to calm yourself and breathe after yelling; then take a moment to speak to your child, get down to your child's eye to eye level and explain gently and calmly that you didn't mean it, why you yelled and encourage them to be better next time and you will the same too.
Hopefully these tips may benefit you. We at UnisonCA are also learning together with our young ones, nobody said it was going to be easy but it's not difficult either, just some extra time and effort.
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